


Team Pink

by insanesometimes



Series: Webhead, Motormouth and the Blind Dude [1]
Category: Daredevil (Comics), Daredevil (TV), Deadpool (Comics), Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Peter is a Little Shit, Team Red, Team red crack, Teen Peter Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:37:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanesometimes/pseuds/insanesometimes
Summary: "I'm calling you cause I got a problem""Is it waffles?" Wade asked excitedly.What."No, it's not waffles."Then what's the problem?"Peter glanced at his suit."It's kinda complicated. "OrPeter accidentally dyes his suit pink.





	Team Pink

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [on your marks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16620764) by [deniigiq](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deniigiq/pseuds/deniigiq). 



Peter had a problem.  
Tecnically, Peter had a lot of problems, all of which he was ready to lock into a safe and sink to the bottom of the sea. However, Peter would rather the metaphorical safe filled with not so metaphorical problems fall out of the sky and hit him on the head than deal with _this_ particular problem.  
Said problem being a very.  
Pink.  
Spiderman suit.  
It all started when Peter fell into the river. The river was, at it's best, slightly filthy. That went to just plain filthy on normal days and oh shit that's really filthy on bad days. Today was, to put it simply, a very bad day for the river.  
It was also a very bad day for Peter to fall into it.  
How does the pink come into this? Well, after Peter had fallen into the river, dragged himself out of said river, gone home and taken a shower, he decided his (extremely filthy) suit needed washing and had thrown it into the washing machine without a second thought.  
Coincidentally, Aunt May decided that her (extremely pink) new dress needed washing.  
The result? An extremely clean, albeit extremely pink Spiderman suit. 

Peter was screwed.  
\--  
Can you dye a multi million dollar suit with an AI in it?  
I dyed my suit pink help  
Will you damage AI if dye suit?  
Can you dye a suit?  
Asdfgjkkhdswwsdd  
How does one dye a suit?  
Suit?

Peter's Google searches were getting more frantic by the second. Google was not helping.  
Overall though, it seemed like it would be a bad idea to dye the suit without anyone okaying it. Who'd be okaying it anyway? Mr Stark? Mr Stark was the last person he could tell about this.  
Despite the fact that he regularly dealt with blood, rips, tears in the suit and what not (including dips in the river that were becoming way too regular for his liking), Peter wasn't taking any chances.  
He needed help. So naturally, he called possibly the least helpful person in the world.  
___  
"Wade?"  
"Oh hi kid!" The voice cut off with what sounded distinctly like a gunshot, followed by an explosion.  
"Are you answering your phone during a fight?" Peter asked incredulously.  
"Yea, got a problem with that?"  
"Yes, because when your phone gets shot- and it _will_ get shot, I'm the one who has to fix it. That's a stupid idea Wade"  
"tHaT's a sTupId iDeA wAdE" came the answer.  
"I'm serious- you know what forget it I called you cause I got a problem"  
A crash, followed by a scream screeched into his ear, and Peter winced, holding the phone away from his ear.  
"On a scale of one to ten how much are you dying." Wade asked him.  
"Zero. I'm not."  
"Then what's the problem?"  
Gunshots rang out. God, how Wade managed to keep a running conversation through all of that was beyond Peter.  
"You realize that not every problem involves someone dying, right? "  
"Yea you're right, is it waffles then?"  
"Waffles? In what situation would waffles ever be a problem?"  
"I can literally list you 20 reasons why waffles are a public hazard."  
Peter rubbed his forehead, sighing.  
"And those are?"  
"First off, choking hazard. Do you have any idea how many people choke in a year-oh shit hold on"  
Peter waited patiently as Wade's phone skid across a floor (or so he presumed based on the noise) and something that he couldn't really distinguish collapsed.  
"Okay I'm back"  
"What other reasons- actually don't answer that it's not important, let's go back to the original reason I called you."  
"The non death and non waffle related problem?"  
"Yes."  
"And what's the problem?"  
"Uhhh."  
Peter glanced at his suit.  
"It's kinda complicated. "  
"WHAT?" Wade yelled over the noise.  
"I SAID IT'S KINDA COMPLICATED-"  
"WHAT?"  
"I SAID-"  
The call ended abruptly. Well he couldn't say Peter hadn't warned him.

Wade was on the roof half an hour after the call. Aunt May had forbid him from entering the house after he'd gotten blood everywhere, so the roof was their go to meeting place.  
"Hi kid!"  
The man tossed Peter a crumbled mess of glass and metal.  
"Is it fixable?" he asked hopefully.  
Peter laughed.  
"Does this look fixable?"  
Peter tossed what was left of his phone back. "Maybe you'll listen next time I tell you not to answer your phone during a fight."  
"You're the one who called me!" Wade exclaimed.  
"You could have waited until after the fight to call me back!"  
Wade rolled his eyes. "Yea whatever, why'd you call me here?"  
Peter stepped to the side, pointed to the suit behind him.  
Wade laughed so hard he fell off the roof and broke his neck.  
Not.  
Helping.  
"Thanks a lot" Peter called down. Wade just laughed again. "I thought it was something serious."  
"This is serious." Peter yelled back.  
"You could spray paint it part purple and part blue and be a living bi flag" Wade snickered.  
"Wade!"  
"Okay okay why don't you ask Stark?"  
"That's a horrible idea!"  
"Why's that?"  
Peter fumbled for words. "Because he can't know I messed up his suit!"  
"Fair enough. I dunno Webs, I'm literally the worst person to ask for advice."  
As if Peter didn't know that already. He should've called Matt.  
Though now that he thought of it, the bi flag thing wasn't such a bad idea. The spray paint part, he meant. "Thanks!" he called.  
"What for?" Wade yelled back.  
Peter was already gone.  
___  
"That'll be $2.49"  
The cashier looked bored out of her mind as she scanned the spray paint bottle.  
Peter fished his last 5 dollar bill from his pocket and handed it to her, dropping the can of red paint into his backpack. This should work until he came up with a more permanent solution. Which definitely did _not_ involve telling Mr Stark in any way.  
At home, he put a sheet of plastic on the floor and his suit on top, then picked up the spray paint bottle.  
How did these things even work. Shake it maybe?  
It sounded like there was a ball in there.  
Why was there a ball in there.  
Who knew. Then he probably just had to point it towards the suit and- "AHHH MY EYES"  
Okay it was the other way.  
The oh so beautiful red paint began covering the pink cloth and Peter almost cried out of relief. Either that or his eyes were watering from the paint he'd sprayed into his face.  
Soon enough though, the paint started dwindling, no matter how much he shook the bottle. To be fair, it had been a rather small bottle.  
Which was how he ended up at the same store the day after, buying a second can of red spray paint with the last of his money. He just hoped it was enough.  
And that's when things went from bad to worse.  
The villain of the week (that Peter couldn't even deal with because uh, pink suit) decided that landing in the middle of traffic and causing havoc would somehow make a point.  
What that point was supposed to be was lost on Peter. He was too busy concentrating on the rogue big ass bus that was coming his way to bother figuring that out.  
His backpack somehow got squashed the whole mess. A backpack containing a can of spray paint. Peter hadn't thought it was possible for a situation to get that bad that fast. Now not only did he now have a half red, half pink suit, he had a new half red backpack to go with it. And a squashed spray paint can. And a whole bunch of red school books.  
Wonderful.  
Inwardly, he wondered how long it would take Mr Stark to find out he'd accidentally dyed a multi million dollar suit pink, then spray painted half of it (or most of it) red.  
_____  
He had to. They was no other choice. Peter couldn't let the criminals of Queens get away with all the crimes. A slight color change meant nothing!  
That didn't stop it from being really fucking humiliating. Luckily, the pink parts weren't that visible. Even less in the dark, which was when he was usually fighting bad guys. Things were pretty normal that night. Nobody seemed to notice the color change.  
Except one confused "are you..pink?" from a civilian he'd saved. Peter had just stood in the shadows, sweating. "Ma'am I don't know what you're talking about"  
The lady just shook her head, probably just chalking it up to her own imagination, before thanking him again and walking out of the alley.  
Other than that, everything went fine. Peter was webbing up an unconscious mugger and thinking that maybe it wasn't so bad when something screamed "Spidey!" and dropped 40 feet into a dumpster next to him, sending trash flying. "Dude, yuck" Peter complained, skirting the rogue trash.  
Wade clambered out, looking like an excited puppy. "Wade, when I came to you for help this was not what I meant."  
Wade twirled on the spot, showing off his new, pink suit. "I was thinking, maybe it's not such a bad idea, the pink thing-"  
"So you dyed your suit pink too??" Peter groaned.  
"Exactly!" he beamed at Peter.  
"Isn't this fun! We're like Team Pink now! We just need to get Double D in it too!"  
"He's never going to agree to that." Peter pointed out.  
Wade just waved his concern away.  
"We could always steal the suit and dye it ourselves. The guy's blind, he won't know the difference."  
___  
Matt told Wade that if he touched his suit he'd cut his hand off. "Why don't you just dye it back?" he asked Peter.  
"I'm afraid it'll damage the suit." Peter groaned into the couch.  
They were all sprawled in Matt's living room.  
"I spray painted it but some parts are still pink"  
Matt frowned, swatting Wade's hand away from the suit. "Does Stark know?"  
"Not yet."  
"You'd better tell him. He'll find out sooner or later. "  
"Yea no shit."  
Wade then promptly dumped two tons of pink glitter onto the daredevil suit, getting them both kicked out.  
"did you really have to glitter bomb him?" Peter asked as they walked out.  
"Tecnically" Wade began indignantly. "I never actually touched the suit, so I respected his terms."  
"That's why you still have both hands" Matt yelled from the other side of the door.  
_____

"It's not that bad."  
Matt told him.  
"It kinda is"  
"It's just a colour"  
"You're blind, you won't understand."  
Matt tripped him, and Peter's feet shot out from under him, landing hard on his butt.  
"Ow."  
"You're fighting blindfolded today for that one". He told Peter, smiling slightly.  
"I know I know, don't mock the elderly and don't mock the disabled" Peter grumbled.  
"Okay now you're just asking for trouble. "  
Two fights in (both won by Matt, goddamn it. He hated fighting blindfolded) and the ground was showered with dust.  
"Is that..glitter on the floor?" Peter asked, confused. "You would not believe how much Wade put in my suit. It's all over the house too."  
"Oh that's gold" Peter laughed.  
"Round three, ready Peter?"  
"Yea, bring it on old man." 

The city was silent that night. Few crimes that were easily stopped, especially with the two of them working together.  
"The spray paint's not going to work forever, you know."  
Matt broke the easy silence that had settled between them.  
"I know." Peter shifted slightly. "I'll figure something out."  
Actually figure something out, for as much as Peter appreciated Wade's support, it really hadn't helped.  
Matt nodded, his attention elsewhere.  
"You hear that?"  
Peter concentrated in the dark, straining to hear something. There. A cry of a young woman as they dragged her into an alley.  
"Yea."  
"You do that one" Matt told him, then leapt in the opposite direction, following sounds Peter couldn't perceive.  
He dove into the night.  
___

Peter had never really considered the implications of regularly falling into rivers (and any large bodies of water. He had a knack for it) until he emerged dripping wet out of the sea. Some idiot tourist had fallen off the statue of liberty (how that was even possible, he wasn't sure). He'd gotten her to safety, but had smacked into a bird while swinging and fallen in the water. Wasn't that lovely.  
It became even less lovely when the paint he'd sprayed onto his suit started to come off into the water around him. He'd probably scared the shit out of all the people who had crowded on the shore to stare at him because "oh my God Spiderman bleeding to death in the water get help" but honestly the only thing that was going through his mind at the moment was "ohmygodthepinksuitthepaintscomingoff" and some occasional "stupid fucking bird". He dragged himself onto the beach, and gotten out of there as soon as could. He could hear the gasps and shouts following him.  
"Look look Spiderman's pink! Quick Jeremy take a picture!"  
Jeremy don't you dare. 

Either Jeremy or some other person must have gotten a picture, because pink Spiderman soon made it's way to every social media site to ever exist. Peter was debating yeeting himself off a building when his phone rang.  
"H-hello?"  
"Care go explain why my multi million dollar suit is now neon pink?"  
"Is there any explanation you'd find satisfactory?"  
A pause.  
"Not really, no."  
Peter paced the room. "How do I get it back to normal?"  
"Kid, just dye it."  
"I can just do that?"  
"No. Drop it off at the tower after school tomorrow and I'll fix it"  
Wait.  
"Hey actually can I drop it off on Sunday? There's something I want to do."  
"Sure whatever."  
As soon as Tony hung up, Peter immediately dialed another number.  
"What's the problem this time?"  
"Wade Wade Wade are you free on Saturday?"  
"Probably, why?"  
"Perfect. I got an idea."  
"Murder? Excellent idea."  
"Team Pink photo shoot."  
"I'm in."  
___  
"And why am I the cameraman again?"  
Matt groaned.  
"Because you're the only one who's not posing" replied Peter, pacing the roof. His once again completely pink suit shone in the sun.  
"I'm blind"  
"Oh _now_ you pull the blind card"  
Wade sat crossed legged, eating a chimichanga.  
"What poses should we do?" Peter wondered aloud.  
Wade shrugged. "Do I look like a model to you? I dunno Webs, just improvise."  
He slung an arm around Peter's shoulders and flashed Matt a peace sign with his free hand.  
*click*  
They all crowded around to see. Their matching pink suits in the middle of the frame created a Stark difference against the city skyline.  
"Not bad" Peter said admiringly.  
"Told you baby boy."  
"Hey how bout this?"  
Peter did his classic spiderman move, crouched with one arm forward and his ring and middle finger pressed to the palm of his hand, while the other fingers were extended.  
Behind him, Wade pretended to gag.  
*click*  
"Ooh let's do one mid backflip! " Wade said excited.  
They stood a couple meters apart, back to back.  
"Ready?"  
"Now!"  
*click*  
The photo caught them motionless in the air, each mirroring the other's pose, backs arched, arms and legs extended.  
They landed, grinning wildly.  
"Now I'll do one with my beloved chimichanga." Wade said dramatically, picking up the abandoned burrito and cradling it lovingly.  
*click*  
Peter rolled his eyes, then, fast as a snake, snatched it from Wade's grasp and took a bite. Wade covered his mouth, gasping in horror. *click*  
"Give that back!"  
They fumbled over it for a minute, then Wade got a hold of it, finishing it off with one bite.  
"Matt come do one too!" he said through a mouthful of food.  
"I'm fine where I am"  
Peter pulled on his arm. "Come onnnnnn"  
"Fine, but only _one_ "  
Peter whooped in joy. He set the camera down with a 10 second countdown, then raced to join the other two.  
*click*  
They all stood, grinning, arms slung over each other's shoulders like a football team. All three had multiple bunny ears.  
"Oh come on guys!" groaned Peter, laughing.  
Wade snickered. "You did it too, it's only fair"  
"There are so many things we can do". Matt rubbed his hands in glee.  
"What happened to only one?" teased Peter.  
Matt rolled his eyes.  
"Let's do another."  
They spent the whole morning taking pictures after pictures, until the camera was nearly full. Then they went through them all, laughing, and deleting the bad ones.  
"Look, so many pictures to add to your baby album, Pete!" Wade said.  
Peter shoved Wade, rolling his eyes.  
*CRASH*  
Whoops.  
Peter rushed to the side of the building, Matt following with the camera. Wade lay on the floor. Huh. Maybe they shouldn't have sat so close to the edge.  
"Are you okay?" Peter yelled.  
"Peachy."  
Peter gave the camera a thumbs up, grinning wildly. Wade lay on the floor in the background, flipping the camera off.  
*click*  
___

When Peter returned the suit, he'd half expected to be chewed out or something, but one look at Mr Stark's face told him the man was close to bursting out laughing at seeing the suit. He wouldn't make it halfway through a rant with a straight face.  
He did ask Peter why he'd asked for an extra couple days to return it, though.  
"Uhh, I needed it for a photo shoot?"  
Tony stared.  
"I'm not even going to ask, kid." 

They did dye it back in the end. It was surprisingly fun, and Peter was almost happy he'd made it pink in the first place if it meant spending time in the lab with Mr Stark (not to mention the fantastic photo shoot they'd done the day before) . All the really Cool Things the lab had, he'd never noticed them. Shelves full of dangerous chemicals that they were forbidden for using in school? Hell yea. All the things he could do. Peter could've kicked himself for not telling Mr Stark earlier.

"If you don't kick you, I will" Wade told him cheerfully. They were eating burgers together to celebrate the de pinkinizing of his suit. Wade had voted chimichangas (the man lived on chimichangas. Well, that and cocaine), Peter and Matt had voted burgers. Wade had started to complain but Matt had just clapped his hands together and a cloud of glitter raised off him. That shut Wade up. Peter suspected Wade had glitter bombed him again since the last time they'd gone over to his house.  
Hell, Mr Stark had even convinced every one that the photos on social media had just been a trick of light. Peter was confident the popularity of pink Spider-Man would go down soon.  
"What a shame" Wade leaned backwards. "I kinda liked team pink"  
"That makes one of us" Matt snorted.  
Peter nodded in agreement.  
"Speaking of which-"  
Wade tossed Peter a bulging envelope.  
"Are these all the pictures?" asked Peter, rifling through them. He pulled one out. It was the football team like one.  
"Yup."  
"Hey, you dyed you suit back too" Peter noted, turning to Wade.  
"Not exactly. But anything that's not red doesn't really last long in my line of work."  
Fair enough.  
He pushed the photo back into the envelope. But hey, maybe things weren't so bad after all.  
Peter's phone started vibrating.  
"Hello?"  
"Peter Benjamin Parker you get down here and tell me why your fifteenth--fifteenth! Backpack is splattered with bright red paint."  
Well shit.

**Author's Note:**

> This whole series is just going to be team red crack. I still need a name for the series though, and I'm open to suggestions.  
> Thank you Chaoticgoodloki for beta-ing and  
> thank you for reading! Please comment and leave kudos :D


End file.
